INSURANCE REPORTS

     The following are actual statements found on insurance forms where
     drivers attempted to summarize the details of their accidents.

  Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I
   didn't have.

  The other car collided with me without giving warning of its intentions.

  I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

  A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

  A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

  The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times
   before I hit him.

  I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law,
   and headed for the embankment.

  To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front of me, I hit a
   pedestrian

  My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

  I told the police I was not injured, but removing my cap I found
   I had a fractured skull.

  The pedestrian had no idea in which direction to run, so I ran
   over him.

  The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small
   car with a big mouth.

  An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my vehicle and vanished.

  I saw a slow-moving sad-faced old gentleman as he bounced off the
   hood of my car.

  I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of
   the road when I hit him.

  The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out
   of its way when it struck my front end.

  I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal
   joint gave out causing the accident.

  I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel
   and had the accident.